Cleanliness and Perversion
by ieatraviolis
Summary: (A Levi Rivaille x Reader story!) You are the main character in this story, trying to win the love of the clean freak, Levi Rivaille. Follow and perform the hilarious shenanigans that go on with all of the characters of Attack on Titan! Rated T and/or M for language and other perverted situations.
1. Eyebrows, Porn Books, and Ninjas

**WEE WOO WEE WOO WELL WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS THIS?! IS THIS.. NO WAY...**

**A LEVI X READER FANFICTION! *LoZ music plays* Anyway, I hope you guys like it!**

**Attack on Titan belongs to Hajime Isayama~**

It was midnight. You walked along the courtyard of the old castle the Survey Corps decided to adopt once again.

You sighed as you sat on a small bench for two. "_If only.._" You murmured while twiddling your thumbs.

"'If only' what?" You heard a bold, male voice behind you.

"Captain Levi! Sorry, I'll go to bed now-"

"You don't have to." He replied with a somewhat nonchalant look on his face. He stepped forward and took a seat next to you. Your face turned red, luckily not being able to tell thanks to the time of day. "What's wrong, [Name]?" You blushed. "Eh?" He crossed his arms. "You heard me. You don't seem like your usual self." You stared at the ground, debating whether or not to tell him. Was it normal for him to care about stuff like this anyway?

"It's just about a guy."

Levi raised his eyebrows. "**Oh**?" He answered in a deathly tone. You nodded your head. "Y-yeah.. I can't stop thinking about him.." You replied, trying not to faint from a mix of nervousness and overexcitement. He rolled his eyes.

_Please don't ask, Please don't ask, Please don't ask... _You silently thought to yourself.

"So, who is it?" He asked. You could've sworn there was anger in his voice.

_Well, shit._

"U-um, you'll have to guess!" You raised your index finger in the air. Levi sighed. "You know I hate guessing games." You put your hands on your hips. "Well then, I guess I can't tell you." He groaned and did his signature "Tch. Whatever." You shivered as a cool breeze flew through the air. "Damn, it's cold.." You muttered as you shut your eyes and tried to warm yourself up. Levi stood up. "I'm going inside." You nodded your head. "I should too..." He held the door to a large hallway. "Thanks." You quietly said, blushing. As the two of you walked through the hallway, you noticed Levi somehow _slouching _until he got to his dormitory. "See you in the morning." He muttered, slamming the door. You furrowed your brows in confusion. "He was fine a minute ago.." You muttered worriedly.

_Was it something I said?_

It was morning. The sun's shining rays coming from your window caused you to stir and wake up. "Ugh.." You yawned, mostly because of the lack of sleep you had. After all, it was six A.M. Thoughts of Levi ran through your head as you changed out of your nightgown and into your uniform for the day.

"Morning," You yawned once again as you walked inside the dining hall to join your friends for breakfast. Connie smiled as he leaned back into his chair. "Hey, [Name]!" Sasha took a bite of bread and waved. Mikasa smiled. "Good morning." Armin looked up from a book he was reading and smiled at you. "Morning, [Name]." You could hear the shouts of Eren and Jean fighting in the back as you took a seat in a wooden chair near Sasha. "Here. It was a struggle trying to protect it from _her_." Mikasa gestured to Sasha. Sasha's face turned pink and she looked away. "Is it that much of a crime to be hungry?" She muttered. "[Name]? Is something wrong?" Mikasa asked caringly. You scratched your head. "Well, it's a-"

"HORSEFACE!" You heard Eren yell to Jean. "GO FUCK YOURSELF, TITAN SCUM!"

"OH HELL NO!"

"HELL YES, MOTHERFUCKER!" Jean screamed as he swung at Eren. "WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" You shouted as you strode over to them and smacked them both on the head. "Sorry, sorry." They both said in unison. "Oh, and good morning to you idiots. Honestly, it's barely seven A.M. and you can't even keep your hands off each other." You realized what you said at the end of your sentence and raised your eyebrows, flashing a wide grin.

"P-pervert!" All of your friends muttered at the same time. You widened your eyes. "You guys knew that was coming!" You exclaimed desperately. You sat back in your chair and sighed, flustered. "Anyway, like I said," You glared at Jean and Eren. "it's a long story-" Armin piped up. "I love stories! Tell us!" You blushed. "Thanks a lot, Armin." You replied sarcastically. Everyone stared bug-eyed at you, expecting a story, just like Armin said. You put a hand on your head. "Nevermind." Everyone slouched back in their chairs sadly. "Oh, come on guys. Don't act that way. It's only about a weird encounter with-" You caught yourself before you could say anything else, knowing that once the moment you said it, it would turn into a terrible rumor. "Ooh. With who?" Sasha asked while trying to steal Armin's bread. You shook your head. "Not saying anything else." Jean shrugged. "Come on. It's probably some stupid love story-"

"Mikasa," You fake-coughed in Jean's direction. He gave you an embarrassed look. "Hm?" Mikasa asked. You suggestively raised your eyebrows at Jean. "How about that, Loverboy?" He almost choked on his tea. "Sh-shut the hell up!" You laughed while leaning on your chair.

"ATTENTION!" Commander Erwin shouted as he rose from his chair. Everyone whirled around to see him. "You will be assigned with your squad to clean. Maneuver gear practice will be assigned by squad and have different time slots for each one. Meet up with your group." You beamed. "Alright, Commander Eyebrows!" You smiled as you stood up from your chair. "Excuse me?" Your back straightened. "U-um.." Your voice drifted off. "I called you '_Commander Eyebrows_' because- uh," You made hand gestures. "Your eyebrows are very vivid and large,_ sir_!" You could hear your friends laughing in the back. Your face turned red due to embarrassment. "H-have you ever tried to pluck them?! Don't, sir!" He gave you a confused look.

"Please take care of yourself, _Cadet_."

"Y-yes, sir! In return, I ask you to take care of your magnificent eyebrows, sir!" You saluted him. Erwin made an odd face and turned to talk to Zoe Hanji.

"So, _Commander Eyebrows?"_ You heard Sasha ask with random outbursts of laughter from your friends. You held your head in your hands. "Shut up.." You replied. "That was some feat." Jean said, laughing. You blushed. "Is that the guy you had the 'weird encounter' with?" Sasha chuckled. You smacked her shoulder. "HELL NO!" You sighed out of exasperation. "I'm gonna go see my squad," You waved as you joined Petra and Oluo. "Hello, Tounge Biter!" You said to him. "Could you stop making up nicknames for us?" Oluo asked as he crossed his arms. Petra giggled. "We saw the whole 'Commander Eyebrows' thing." You slammed your head on the wall of the dining hall. "God dammit, god dammit.." You muttered. Levi arrived out of the hall with Gunter and Erd. "Hi.." You waved halfheartedly at the trio. Petra put a hand on your shoulder. "Please don't fret about it, [Name]." Eren ran over to you. "What was with that? It was just priceless!" You put your hands on your face, feeling yourself blush. "Why?!" Petra elbowed Eren and made a gesture to you. "Oh! I mean, it wasn't _that_ idiotic." You turned to see him with a desperate look. "Idiotic..?" You asked.

"That's enough. Get your gear on." Levi said.

"It's cleaning time." His eyes shone.

"Captain, I'm done cleaning the floor." You said as you wiped the sweat off your brow. He turned and examined the wooden floor you scrubbed intently. He pulled down his mask. "No. Do it over." He said as he walked over to a closet. "What's in there-" The closet was filled with containers of bleach. "The hell?! Why are there so many bottles of bleach over there?! You've already used up ten so far! How many are in there? Five hundred?!" He turned and glared at you. "Would you stop asking so many questions, you little shit? And no, there's four hundred seventy-two in there." You stood there wide-eyed at him. "H-how do you clean that much?" He stared expressionlessly at you.

"It's a gift."

"Say, Captain.." He made a "Tch" noise. "What?" You looked away. "If you were forced to use one of two perfumes, one scented bleach and one scented window cleaner, which one would you choose?"

"_Window cleaner, of course._" Your jaw dropped. "You actually answered that?!" He rolled his eyes. "What did it look like? Also, you missed a spot."

Ten minutes passed of you scrubbing the floor thoroughly.

"Alright, I think I'm done for real this time." You said exhaustingly. "I'll be the judge of that.." Levi muttered as he thoroughly examined all the boards in the floor. "It's a shit job, but I'll let it go. And.." You turned. "Yes?"

"Can you reach this book for me? I need to dust it." You smiled. "Sure." You tiptoed and reached the book. "Here- wait, is this a.." Your voice drifted off.

"A PORN BOOK?! C-CAPTAIN!" He staggered back. "Woah there, Captain Levi.." You smirked. "I- I just confiscated this from a cadet!" He stuttered.

"Oh really? Why was it in your bookshelf then? Didn't know you were into this stuff." He looked away as you flipped through the book. "Pretty hardcore, Captain." You grinned.

"Get the fuck out. Now." He grabbed your shoulders and shoved you out of his office. "Aw, come on, Captain-" He slammed the door in your face. "I guess I don't need to _clean _anymore!" You declared. You could hear the noise of shuffling papers inside. "Captain?" There was silence. You sighed as you turned and bumped into Zoe. "What's this about not cleaning?" You put a hand behind your head. "I- well, I found a porn book inside the Captain's bookshelf.. He kicked me out after teasing him." She threw her head back and laughed. "Really?! Fucking hilarious!" She kicked down the door to his office to find him reading the porn book that you found. He widened his eyes as he dropped the book. "WOWZA! THAT'S SOME BOOK YOU'RE READING! [NAME] TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT! WOAH! THAT'S SOME PICTURE! IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!" Zoe yelled as Levi slowly stood up.

You mentally counted in your head. You knew that once you counted to three, you would pull Zoe and run like hell away from the perverted cleaning maniac.

_Three, two, one.._

"RUN LIKE HELL, HANJI! RUN!" You yelled as you tugged on her hand. "Ah!" She exclaimed.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING DUMB SHITTY PIECES OF FUCK BETTER GET BACK HERE!" You heard Levi scream in the back. "I'LL USE MY BLADES ON YOU!" He shouted from down the hall. You panted as you dragged Zoe down the hall. "Run, Zoe!" She turned to you with tears in her eyes. "Leave me, [Name]. You're a cadet. You have a full life ahead of you. Just leave me." She fell to the floor as you let go of her hand. "Zoe! No!" You yelled as you could see Levi gaining on you in the distance. "I'm so sorry, Zoe!" You panted and ran from her and Levi. You noticed a wooden door and stopped for a split second.

_A door! I can escape! _

You heard the cries of Hanji as Levi stepped on her. "WHERE IS SHE, SHITTY GLASSES?!" You flung open the door and locked it behind you, panting heavily.

"[Name]? What's going on?" You heard the voice of Eren. You covered his mouth and shushed him. "Levi's chasing me because I caught him with a porn book. If I may.." You mumbled as you crawled under his bed. He kneeled down. "Oh.. It's alright, [Name]! I'll talk to him-" You tugged on his hand. "No, Eren! It's too dangerous!" Eren waved his hand. "It's fine." He stood up and opened the door. "Captain, I'd like to- OOF!"

"EREN!" You screamed. Levi stepped over Eren's unconscious body and dragged you out from under his bed. "So there you are.." He glared at you with rage and death in his eyes. You whimpered. "I-I have to avenge Hanji and Eren! Let go!" You squirmed and tried to get away from his iron grip on the collar of your uniform. "Pfft. Avenge.." He dragged you down the hall silently.

You saw Erwin leaning against the wall. "H-hey! Commander Eyebrows! Please help me!" You shouted as you clawed the floor, trying to escape. He stared at you and Levi as you passed Zoe's body. He grabbed Levi's shoulder and he immediately froze, letting you go. "Lance Corporal Levi," Erwin said.

"Just wanted to tell you that maneuver practice for your squad is in forty-five minutes. Be ready!" Levi nodded. "Got it." He then grabbed onto your collar again and took you to his office. "C-COMMANDER EYEBROWS?!" You yelled.

"Ouch!" You muttered as Levi threw you against the wall to his office. He then got on top of you and pinned you down."Why?" You tried backing up to the corner of the wall. "W-why what?" He scowled. "Are you deaf, you brat? I said why? Why did you.." His voice trailed off as he looked away. A light pink color tinged his cheeks. You blushed. You got a hand free from his grip. "Because, Captain.." You cupped his face with one hand and smiled. He flinched at the sudden touch of your soft, warm skin.

"[Name]..." He stared at you, all the anger drained out of his face.

"I am a ninja." You poked his face while saying, "Boop!" and left him dumbstruck. You wriggled out of his grip and ran towards the door.

"And ninjas never tell secrets, Captain Levi." You said as you opened the door and ran to hang out with your friends. "Remember about maneuver gear practice!" You said as you ran down the hall.

**OKAY, SO... This is gonna be a new story! Cause', you know, *puts on sunglasses* DEAL WITH IT. **

**Anyway, remember to follow, review, favorite, BLAH DE BLAH...**

**See you! *Rides Nyan Cat into space***


	2. Commence Plan A!

**Yaaay... Chapter two. HAHA JUST KIDDING I AM FLIPPIN HAPPY! *Dances to viva happy* **

**ENJOY THE CHAPTER AND STUFF**

**I DON'T OWN ATTACK ON TITAN!**

You ran down the hallway, away from the blushing Captain. You jumped and fist-pumped the air, yelling "Wahoo!" You burst out of the double doors to the courtyard and ran to your friends who were cleaning. "[Name]? Petra asked as she swept the dusty ground cluttered with leaves. "Th- the Captain!" You exclaimed happily, laughing. You extended your arms and ran around. Erd crossed his arms. "Be careful, you know-" He said as you tripped and fell. "[Name]!" Petra shouted as she worriedly came to your side. You smiled and put both of your hands in the air. "I'm fine!" You said happily. Petra smiled knowingly at the rest of your squad. "Here," Gunter said as he handed you a broom. "The Captain will get mad if he finds out that you're not cleaning." You nodded and smiled brightly. "Right. And maneuver gear practice is in about twenty-five minutes." You reminded them as you stood up and started to sweep. Eren waved and ran to you. "H-hey guys!" You winced as you noticed the bandages on his face. "Are you alright?" Petra asked. Eren shrugged. "I guess. I don't remember much of what happened." He answered, scratching his head. You sighed. "Feel better."

Eren raised his index finger. "Oh yeah! Don't you guys know that it's Halloween in a day?" You quickly turned your head to face him and grabbed his shoulders. "Isn't there _candy_? I remember the good times! Let's dress up as ghosts!"

"Aren't' you being a little childish?" Petra answered by wearing a sad smile. Oluo stepped over to the group and sighed. "What's this talk about ghosts?" Eren grinned. "It's Halloween in a day!" Oluo sighed. "Whatever. It's a dumb holiday." You staggered back. "Wh-what? No way! You get candy! And most importantly, scare people!" Oluo crossed his arms. "You've gotta be kidding. Anyway, we should still clean-" He bit his tounge after tripping over a rock. "The evil spirits of the dead are angry now, Oluo." You said as he covered his mouth. "Sh-shut up, would you?!" You snickered. "Scared of ghosts?" He looked away. "No. Not at all!" You rolled your eyes and grinned. "Right. Of course.."

"Just clean, won't you?" He said embarrassingly.

Fifteen minutes passed and Levi stood in front of everyone. "Get your maneuver gear on. Practice is in ten minutes." You nodded. "Yes, Sir!"

_It was only a funny gesture, according to her. But the way she touched and looked at me.. Dammit. _

"Captain? Captain Levi!" Petra called in his ear. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Go ahead." Petra smiled as the iron spear belonging to her gear snagged onto a tree. "Go Petra!" You called. You stood next to Levi, awaiting your turn. "Petra's awesome at this.." You muttered, seeing her concentrated face. She returned minutes later, panting with a closed eye smile. "Done! Go get em', [Name]!" You nodded and turned to Levi. "Can I go?" He nodded. "Yeah."

"Wahoo!" You yelled as you jumped and flew through the air. "Watch this!" You shouted to your comrades as you spun in the air and sliced the nape of a practice titan's neck. New ones kept popping up. You giggled as you felt the wind whip through your hair. You flew near a titan and used a tree to propel yourself higher. You had a determined look as you held your blades tightly and went for it's neck. You encountered more as you continued inside the forest.

Levi's eyes shone as he watched you fly through the practice area. _She's good.._ He thought as Petra nudged him. "What?" He focused his eyes on the approaching figure coming at lightning speed. Petra smiled. "She's coming back." Levi crossed his arms. "Yeah." You landed in front of him, your face pink due to excitement and sweat. "That was fun! Honestly, we need to practice more." You said as you leaned against a shed near Levi. "Nice job." He said as he met your eyes, then looked away. "Really? Thanks, Captain!" You panted as you sat on the dirt trail. Levi looked at you for a split second, then shifted his gaze to Eren. "Your turn."

"B-but Captain, if I have the ability to turn into a titan, then why should I-"

"Shut up and do what I say, you little shit. Go." Levi replied. Eren sighed. "Yes, Sir." He sped off into the forest, returning minutes later. "That was shitty as fuck. Do it better from now on." Levi said, gesturing for Erd to go last.

"Yes, Sir." Eren replied sadly as he sat down next to you. "Oh, come on, Eren. You know the Captain does that so you can get better." You said as you tried to cheer him up. "Yeah.." He replied distantly and put his head in his hands. You put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "You can't possibly have this attitude when it's almost Halloween, you know." Eren lifted his head from his hands and managed a smile. "I guess. Thanks, [Name]." You grinned. "How could you be sad when you've got a badass titan form, huh?" His face lit up. "Yeah..!" He stood up and extended a hand to help you up. "Really, [Name]. You're a great friend." Eren said, smiling. You shrugged. "It's no biggie." You noticed Levi stare angrily at Eren. You cocked your head and raised an eyebrow.

_Just what is with the Captain? _You thought as practice ended at a quarter to nine, just in time for dinner. You slowly opened the doors to the dining hall and joined your friends. The occasional arguments between Eren and Jean happened as you sat down in a wooden chair. "Here." Mikasa said as she pushed your plate toward you. "You don't have to get me something each time, Mikasa." You replied as you stared hungrily at the food on it. "You really think you can fake your emotions, [Name]? Besides, you just had practice. You should be hungry." She smiled, then turned to Sasha. "And for you," Mikasa muttered, opening Sasha's jacket and revealing a loaf of bread inside it. "My body heat keeps it warm! It's foolproof!" Sasha exclaimed, holding the bread close to her. Mikasa sighed. "I'm done trying."

"Yo! What's going on?" You heard Connie shout as he ran and took a seat next to you. "Hi, Connie." You said as you just noticed Armin sitting across you reading a book on physics. "What's with her?" Connie whispered as he leaned close to Mikasa, wearing a puzzled look. You snuck looks at Levi, who was sitting at another table talking to Erwin. You sighed as you took a bite of the bread on your plate. "_She's feeling something that not many people have felt before, Connie._" Mikasa replied. Connie shrugged and turned to Sasha. Mikasa looked intently at you. "Wh-what is it?" Mikasa chuckled.

"It's Captain Levi, isn't it?"

You spit out your drink and slammed your fists on the table, blushing. "WH-WHAT?!" You screeched, making everyone in the room turn and look at you. You waved your hands in the air as random gibberish came out of your mouth. "I-I have no idea what you're-"

"Yes you do. I can tell because you're blushing. Also, your pupils are dilated and you look like as if Jean tried to rape you." Mikasa replied calmly.

"WH-WHAT?!" Both you and Jean yelled at the same time. He let go of Eren as he was about to punch him. You backed away from Jean as he put his hands in front of him defensively. "H-hey, I don't-" He said. "Wh-why would you say such a thing?-"

"What's all the ruckus here?!" You heard Erwin as he approached your table.

"C-COMMANDER EYEBROWS! PLEASE FORGIVE US! SASHA FARTED AGAIN!" You yelled desperately as you waved your hand in the air. Sasha almost fell to the ground as Connie started laughing hysterically. Erwin exchanged a dirty look with Sasha. "Watch what you eat, Cadet Brause." Erwin said as he turned and walked back to his table. "Th-the hell was that for?!" Sasha cried as a dark shade of pink clouded her face. Armin slammed his book on the table. "Would.. you.. just.. SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Armin yelled.

Erwin quickly glared at you and the whole table as the sound of glass breaking and Armin's scream echoed throughout the room.

"D-damn, it's cold!" Connie said, shivering. "I can't believe we were all sent outside. I didn't even do anything!" Eren cried. Mikasa crossed her arms as she leaned on the wall and stared at the moon. "I think Armin snapped." Sasha pointed at the blonde huddled on the ground. Jean pinned Eren to the wall. "If you could've stopped Armin from his rampage, then we could've-"

"What does this have to do with me?!" Eren yelled as the two started to bicker.

"Fuck.. I just embarrassed myself in front of him.." You whispered as you buried your head in your hands. "[Name]? Was I correct?" Mikasa asked as she sat on the ground next to you. You sighed. "Don't tell anyone about it, alright?" Mikasa patted your shoulder. "It's okay, [Name]. We've all felt this way-"

"N-no, Mikasa! It's not like that.." Your voice drifted off. She raised her eyebrow. "It's not like a cute schoolgirl lovey-dovey book. I- I really do love him!" Tears brimmed in your eyes. "But how in the name of fuck can that happen? I mean, titans are killing everyone, and there's no time to think about shit like that! And on top of that, he really hates everyone!" You shut your eyes tightly and hugged your knees. "G-great. I look like a fucking weakling." You tried to dry the tears running down your face. Mikasa's expression softened as she patted your back. "Tell me all about it." You stared at the ground. "I don't even know how I can even stand when I'm near him. He's just.."

"Just what?" You heard Levi. _FUCKING SHITBALLS! _You thought as you ran up to Jean and hugged him. "I LOVE JEAN!" You yelled as you cried more. "WH-WHAT?!" Jean screamed, his face red. Levi widened his eyes as he witnessed you embrace Jean. _"_You're the only one for me, Jean!" You wept into his shoulder. Jean staggered back with you clinging onto his back. Eren started laughing. "I- IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Jean shouted as he tried to swing at Eren without hitting you. You heard the door slam loudly and sighed. Jean removed you from his back and set you on the ground. "Wh-what the hell was that about?!" He asked you, his face a dark red. "Wh- why are you crying?" Eren asked as he was pinned to the ground. "Wh- what? I'm not crying!" You yelled as everyone heard a clap of thunder. "How could my day start so nicely only to end to such a crushing defeat?" You asked yourself. "That was pretty poetic." Connie said. Sasha elbowed him. "Sorry." Raindrops fell on the top of your head. "Everyone get under here!" You heard Mikasa shout. Sasha dragged Armin under the rooftop. "[Name]?" Eren asked worriedly.

You slowly turned your head.

"What is it, Eren?" You asked as tears streamed down your face. "N-Nevermind!" Eren said as he moved closer to Mikasa. Rain soaked through your uniform, though you didn't care. You sank to your knees, your vision cloudy. "How..?" You muttered as you felt all of your consciousness slip away.

"[Name]? [Name]?!" You opened your eyes to find yourself in a small, clean room with all of your friends by your side. "Th-thank goodness you're awake!"

"Where am I?" You asked drowsily. "You're in the Captain's room." Eren replied. "You should've seen him. When we told him that you passed out, he flipped shit. He even carried you here. We're lucky to even be with you. Turns out that you get sick easily. Be more careful next time, [Name]!"

"We had to drag Hanji out of here!" Sasha cried.

Mikasa sighed. "At least you're fine. Do you want anything to eat?" You shook your head. "What's everyone doing? Wait, what time is it?"

"Five after midnight." Jean replied as you sat up. "Wh-what are we doing? Where's the Captain gonna sleep? Honestly guys, common sense!" You said as you stood up and almost fell. "Careful," Sasha said as she supported you along with Mikasa. "Let's go to your room." Mikasa said as the group moved along with you. "We didn't have to take his room.." You said with a tired tone in your voice. "He let us, though." Eren replied. They stopped at the door to your dorm. "I think I'm fine now, guys." They exchanged worried looks. "Alright." Sasha said as she let you go. You opened the door and yawned. "Goodnight, guys. Thanks for looking after me." You smiled as you closed the door.

Armin ran to another door in the hallway and knocked three times. "_Plan A start. Repeat, Plan A start._" Hanji opened the door and grinned. "Let's start this, shall we?"

**GOD DAMMIT**

**SASHA FARTED AGAIN**

**ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER! WHAT IS PLAN A? **

**I was listening to happy, bouncy vocaloid music in the beginning.. Sorry for the sudden burst of rainbows. **

**SO, REVIEW OR SASHA WILL FART IN YOUR FACE! **


	3. Enough Avenging!

**Yo! Guess who's back, back again? Ravioli's back, back again... Ahaha.. **

**No.**

**Alright, I'm gonna rate this chapter to an M and a half. So about an M.5. Maybe T.75**

**I hope you like this chapter!**

"All clear!" Connie whispered excitedly as Sasha made a thumbs- up sign. "Wait, what's going on? Nobody told me about the plans." Jean said curiously. "Honestly, Jean. Or should I say Mr. Horseface?" Eren smirked as Jean used a book to smack him with. "Ow! Hey, you didn't have to use that!" Eren hissed.

"Would you guys just shut up and let me inform him?" Hanji asked exasperatingly. Eren crossed his arms as he shot a look at Jean. "Fine."

Hanji turned to him. "As you can tell, we're on a mission to, well, let me put this bluntly: Make Captain Levi and [Name] fully fall in love. Pretty sweet, right?"

"B-but wouldn't that be considered a bit scandalous? I mean, love between a superior and a cadet." Jean asked.

"Pfft. Do you think we care about that? Besides, we already know that they're fond for each other. They just need some help with that." Hanji replied. "Now, let me explain the actual mission in detail. When dinner is over, we're gonna blow out all the torches once they come in, leaving this whole hallway to be pitch black. They'll probably stumble into each other, then embark to find matches, which is all the way in the Shortie's room in the dead end of the hallway. Once they open the door, one of us will lock it from the outside and start banging on it. Someone else will start scratching on the wall. You know, to make it all creepy. Besides, we all know that [Name] has a weird fear of the dark, don't we?" Hanji put her hands on her hips. "That's the plan! And we'll meet fifteen minutes before dinner to set stuff up."

Connie raised his hand. "How are we gonna enter the building without being seen?"

"We're all gonna hide in our rooms until I provide the signal to blow out all of the torches, which will be knocking on the wall, since our rooms are linked together."

"How are we going to know when they, um, you know.. kiss?" Eren asked. "We need someone to monitor them." Hanji said. "Ooh! Ooh! Please pick us!" Sasha and Connie jumped up and down, raising their hands. Hanji managed a smile. "Okay, Sasha, Connie, you guys are gonna be the spies. Don't screw up."

"Wahoo! Did you hear that, Connie? Spies!" Sasha exclaimed as she jumped in the air.

"Shh.. You'll be monitoring-"

"Spying," Connie corrected.

"Right. Spying near the outside window. When they kiss, one of you will run inside and tell me."

Hanji exhaled. "Alright. Got it all down? Then get your asses to sleep. We've got a big day. Like I said, we'll meet just after dinner. Night!"

_"Captain..Captain..Levi..?"_

You opened your eyes and put a hand near your head to block the sun's rays. "Muttering dirty things about me, eh?" You saw no other than Levi standing above you.

"C-CAPTAIN!" You yelled as you immediately stood up on your bed. Your slipped on a blanket and fell right on top of him, hitting the hardwood floor. You stayed in this position, blushing darkly.

"H-happy Halloween, Sir!" You exclaimed nervously.

You swore you could see the shock and redness in his face. "Fuck..[Name].." He groaned. Your eyes widened and your face turned pink as you stared at him. You felt light headed and continued to stare at Levi before you collapsed on him.

"[N-Name]?!" He exclaimed as he felt your warm, irregular breaths on his neck. He sighed as he tried to pick you up by grabbing you by the shoulders.

"Hey, [Name], have you seen the Captain-" Eren asked as he opened the door. He blinked twice and surveyed what was happening. "Get the fuck out of here, you little shit!" Levi growled.

Eren blushed madly and closed the door. "Sorry for the interruption."

Levi grunted as he tried to take your unconscious body off of his without hurting you. He then mustered all the strength he had and pushed you away from him. His face turned red as he realized that he had to carry you. He knelt down and put his arms around your legs, then your shoulders. He staggered back, then regained his strength and slowly put you on your small bed.

"The hell is wrong with you?" He whispered as he sat at your bedside. Levi sighed and brushed a hair out of your face. He stood up and walked near the entrance of your room. He glanced at you once more, then closed the door.

"God, just where is [Name]?" Sasha asked impatiently as she rested her head on the wooden table. Mikasa noticed Levi walking through the doors. "Captain, do you know where [Name] is?" She asked.

"She's not feeling well." He replied.

"Wh-what?! Not feeling well?! But-" Eren shouted as Jean smacked him. "Shut the hell up!"

Levi gave Eren a cold stare as he retorted against Jean.

"What are we gonna do?! We've gotta tell Hanji or-" Connie said as Levi sat at his table and started to talk to Hanji.

"She'll be fine. I just know it." Mikasa replied.

"Should we visit her dorm?" Armin asked worriedly as he turned to the two fighting. "Both of you, stop it!" Armin said to Eren and Jean.

Mikasa took a sip of her tea. "Let's just calm down. It'll be fine tonight." Jean turned to her. "H-how do you know?!" He asked, blushing. Mikasa pushed her plate toward Sasha. "A gut feeling."

Sasha's eyes lit up as she pointed at the food on Mikasa's plate. "F-for me?" She asked happily. Mikasa took the last piece of bread on her plate and ate it obnoxiously in front of her. Sasha had a grave look on her face. "H-how could you?"

"Hello." You said as you took a seat next to Mikasa. "You're alright!" Eren exclaimed happily. You smiled sweetly. "Yeah. Oh, thanks, Mikasa." You grinned as she pushed your plate towards you. "Feeling okay?" Armin asked. You shrugged. "Yeah. Just fine."

Eren grabbed your shoulders and shook you. "Are you alright?! I saw you! What did he do?!" You blushed madly. "E-Eren! Let go!" He did as told and put his hands on his head. "Is Captain really that much of a pervert?" He whispered. "**Hah**?" Jean asked. "What are you saying?" You slammed your head on the table. "[Name]?!" Eren raised his voice with a panicked tone. "What did he do?! The only thing I remembered was falling _on top of him.._What if.." Your voice drifted off as you lifted your head, your face red due to perverted thoughts. "H-HE COULDN'T HAVE!" You screeched. Connie jumped and knocked over Sasha's drink. "Ouch! The hell was that for?" Jean yelled. Eren started laughing as he saw the liquid that surrounded his pants. "Dude.. You look like you pissed yourself.." Eren said, trying not to laugh. "H-HOW IS THAT FUNNY?! GOD DAMMIT! SOMEONE HAND ME SOME TISSUES!" Jean shouted, standing up. Everyone in the mess hall turned and started laughing at the miserable sight.

Levi turned and raised his eyebrow at Jean. He then glanced at you. You made jazz hands in Jean's direction. "I DON'T THINK IT'S PEE!" You shouted in a sing song tone. Jean staggered back. "Oi! D-don't emphasize it-" He was interrupted by the sudden appearance of bread being pelted at his face by Eren. "THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!" Jean strode over to Eren and slammed him against the wall. "You wanna start this-"

Another piece of bread hit his face. Connie covered his mouth and tried not to laugh.

Mikasa examined a piece of bread in her hand that was taken from Armin, then threw it at Jean's face. She crossed her arms and looked around nonchalantly. "WHY ARE YOU ALL THROWING BREAD AT ME?!" Jean shouted at the table. Armin stood between the two. "Alright guys, you have to stop-" Someone threw another piece of bread at Armin. "Wh-what did I do?" He asked.

"BREAD FIGHT!" Connie announced loudly.

"NO!" Sasha screamed, clutching her bread.

Cadets started throwing their pieces of hardened bread at Jean.

"ATTENTION!" Erwin stood up.

Everyone focused their attention on him.

"I COMMAND YOU ALL TO STOP THIS MADNESS-" A piece of bread was flung at his face. The room was filled with "Oohs".

"Alright.." He muttered.

"Who did that?" He asked, his eyes wandering the room.

He walked around the mess hall, staring intently at everyone. A cadet stood up. "I-I did it, sir!" Erwin walked towards him.

"You did?"

The cadet saluted Erwin. "Y-yes, Sir!"

Erwin took a large chunk of bread. "Do you know what I'm going to do with this?" He asked with a hushed voice.

"Wh-what, Sir?"

Erwin took the cadet's hands and gave the piece of bread to him. "I'm going to give you good advice and tell you not waste your food. This goes for everyone as well."

The cadet stood there with his jaw dropped as Erwin walked back to his seat. Everyone in the mess hall gaped at the commander.

"We'll be cleaning for the day." He said as he sat down.

"D-did you see what just happened?" Connie asked.

Mikasa leaned on her elbow. "That was interesting.."

Jean sat down embarrassingly. "Thanks, Eren."

"It was only _one _piece of bread!" Eren exclaimed.

A bell rang, signaling the end of breakfast. "Oh. Well, see you guys later." You said as you stood up.

Everyone waved as Eren caught up with you. "You kind of started it. But I'm not gonna say that it wasn't funny." You chuckled as you looked back at Jean. "Poor guy." Eren made a thumbs-up sign. You met up with the rest of your squad and changed in your cleaning gear.

Hanji ran over to you as you were about to go into Levi's office to help him clean. "Hey Zoe!"

She waved. "Can I clean with you? I also wanted to see if there any more books." She grinned. You shrugged. "Sure."

You knocked on the door.

"_State your name and business."_

"It's Cadet [Name] and Lieutenant Hanji, Sir. We want to help you clean up."

"_Enter."_

You smiled as you walked in the room. "Hello, Captain." Hanji grinned. "Hey, Shorty!"

He sighed. "Dust the rims of the bookshelf."

"Yes, Sir."

Hanji wiggled her eyebrows as she inspected the spines revealing the titles of books. You smirked and rolled your eyes.

Hanji poked your shoulder. You turned to see her holding two explicit books. "_Put those back!" _You hissed. She giggled.

"Put what back?" Levi asked as he turned from scrubbing the floor. You blushed and gestured to Hanji. "U-um, the rag.. She put it on the very top of the shelf.." You stuttered as Hanji hid the books in her jacket while you were on your tiptoes, pretending to reach for something on the top shelf. Your hand grazed a book as he turned away. You pulled it to your view and examined it, only to find that it was a highly explicit magazine. You showed it to Hanji, in which she responded by accidently dropping all of the other magazines and guffawing loudly and unattractively at the particular one you showed her.

You covered your face with your hands, giggling as Levi whipped his head around. "The fuck is going on?" You widened your eyes as Hanji jumped and fell to the floor, with you following by extending your arms wide in front of her, preventing Levi from advancing.

"Cadet [_Name_], get out of the way." He said, as if he were to pierce you with venom in the next minute. You shook your head and stared into his eyes. "No, Sir, I cannot, Sir!" You replied. "Excuse me?" Levi answered with a glare. "Last time I let you hurt Miss Hanji, b-but now you can't, Sir!" You exclaimed, a pang of nervousness invading your voice.

"Now, Cadet." Levi simply said. Your body started trembling as the two of you stared each other down.

"I won't, Sir." You narrowed your eyes, gaining a surprised expression from him.

"D-damn, it's tense.." Hanji complained while flipping through the books and covering her nose with a handkerchief.

"Move now, Cadet. Or you'll be caught in this as well," He warned sharply. You stayed in the same position. "No, Sir-"

He started to run from the other end of the large office until you tackled him, yelling, "I WON'T LET YOU, CAPTAIN!" He grunted as you knocked him to the floor with a tight embracing position.

"What the hell?!" Hanji exclaimed. Levi stared up at you, shocked. "C-Cadet-"

"Forgive me for interrupting Sir, but didn't I tell you last time that I would avenge Eren and Miss Hanji?" You said with a smirk on your face, enjoying his reaction. "I," He stuttered. "What's wrong, Sir? Cat got your tounge?" You asked smugly. "Sh-shut the hell.." His voice drifted off as you leaned closer to his face. "Am I embarrassing you,"

"Sir?"

Levi drew in a breath as you twirled a lock of his hair in between your fingers after placing yourself on his lap. You giggled evilly and marveled at the sight of the embarrassed captain. You purposely shifted your weight on his lap and wet your lips. Hanji stared wide-eyed at you. _She can play the sexy role really well, _She thought, impressed.

"Captain..?" You asked seductively. He blushed madly, then widened his eyes. _Oh shit, _He thought. _Oh fuck. Nonono. _You slowly pulled a section of your jacket, revealing your collarbone. "Is something wrong-"

You wore a confused expression as you felt a large bump where you were sitting. "Wh-what the.." Your voice drifted off as you turned your head slowly, catching sight of the erection that grew in his pants.

"OH MY FUCK!" Hanji yelled, her hands covering her mouth. "[_N-Name_] gave the Shorty a hard-on!" She exclaimed. You froze and stared at the large bulge as a deep red made its way onto your face. You gulped as Levi stared, flustered at you. "I.. Um.." You managed to say. You stood up, using Hanji to shield you.

"I think I've avenged enough!" You screamed, running out the door.

Hanji whistled. "Well, she's back to normal. I'll uh-I'll leave you alone." She said, waving as she closed the door. Levi slowly got up and smacked his forehead.

"Fuckbuckets."

**OKAY~~~ I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! I MADE IT EXTRA-SPECIAL SINCE, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. **

**Anyway, please favorite, follow, review, ect.. I GAVE LEVI A GODDAMN BONER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.**

**Oh, did you guys know I'm working on a story based on Black Butler with my own character? It'll be about the manga~ Read when it's out!**

**Bye bye! Sorry it's so short.. **


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